Let’s set the scene. You’ve been engaged for a while now and your fiancé has jumped into wedding planner mode as if she’s been training for this her whole life. While you have definitely contributed to the planning, she has some very specific goals for the big day. If you are the kind of guy whose main responsibilities for the wedding are to show up on time and look nice, then might I encourage you to go the extra mile and consider the following things which will be sure to make your bride-to-be so glad she chose you to spend the rest of her life with.

1) Send something to where she will be getting ready.

When all the girls are getting ready there is a lot going on. It’s busy and can be stressful so imagine her surprise when one of your groomsmen knocks on her door with a little something. Everyone in the room will think it’s so romantic and you can express some private sentiments for your bride-to-be in the card. It doesn’t need to be a bracelet from Tiffany’s or tickets to the Maldives. It could be a symbol from your first date, some jokey boudoir photos, or maybe just something monogrammed with her new last name on it. I’ve even seen a groomsman drop off a couple bottles of prosecco so she and her girls can have a nice toast before heading to the ceremony. Trust me, she’ll love it, the mums will love it and all her bridesmaids will think you are the most thoughtful man.

2) Get emotional during the ceremony.

She wants you to cry. She wants you to be so overcome by her beauty that you cant take it. But a lot of the time grooms are nervous or anxious or just aren’t big criers. If it doesn’t happen naturally here are a couple ways to infuse the ceremony with a bit more emotion on your part. As she is walking down the aisle, look over to your best man and whisper “oh my god, she looks amazing”. She’ll clock this little exchange and love it. Once she’s arrived, grab her hand and whisper something sweet to her. Something along the lines of “I’m the luckiest man on earth”. Then the ceremony will happen as planned. If your voice wobbles or a tear comes, by all means lean into that but if not there is one more unexpected moment that will make her heart shine and that is a celebratory fist pump after the first kiss or at the beginning of the procession. It always makes a good photo and video moment too.

3) In general, be a gentleman.

On your wedding day of all days you want to show her that chivalry is not dead so when you are announced and you walk to your table, remember to pull out her chair and not sit until she does. It’s a classy little thing you can do that will make her feel extra special. The same principle applies if you are both getting into a car, hold the door and let her get in first, if you are walking to get family portraits done, offer to carry the train of her dress. Acts of service is a love language and she will really appreciate it.

4) For the love of God, don’t forget to mention her in your speech.

I get it, public speaking can be scary and you might think that once the thank yous are done then your job is done. I have seen far too many wedding where the groom doesn’t mention his bride much at all and trust me, she doesn’t love that. Once you have said your thank yous pivot with the line “and now a few words about my beautiful wife”. Everyone will cheer as this is the first time you’ve called her your wife. Say some nice things about how she looks but always end it with comments on her character and how everyday she is lovely, not just today.

5) Dance with her Mum.

Again this is such a small act that she will notice and think you are just the sweetest man out there. Your mother in law will tell her friends about it, the photographer and videographer will capture it and it will, without a doubt, you’ll be praised for it.

I hope this little list helps spark some ideas. Hopefully your wedding day is a triumph and you and your partner have the best time.

Sending all my best wishes,

Ellyn